Hey readers, this is just a little update.
I’m having a really difficult time right now keeping my shit together. October and November were bad for different reasons, and I was actually really hoping December was going to be okay, even considering that winters are traditionally bad times for me. And it was even looking that way during the first week or so of the month.
But I’ve been running into a lot of problems. Largely they’re related to anxiety. Nothing actually serious has happened or is happening. All things considered, I’ve been lucky for 2020. But this year has definitely taken a heavy toll on my mental, and probably physical, health.
Normally I’d just take some time off, but I can’t quite afford that at this point, not with the plans I have in motion. Although I have to admit it’s gotten so bad that I’ve genuinely considered saying fuck it and just throwing my plans into disarray and just shutting the fuck down for a few weeks.
But now, to add to my anxiety, I’m nervous about A Warm Place in specific, and my writing career in general. My sales have definitely been on a downward trend. Although Haven was a fairly strong earner for most of it, I noticed a definite decline in reads and sales for Haven 8 & Epilogue. Like A Fine Wine is definitely not selling well, people don’t seem much interested in it.
I was really hoping that A Warm Place - Prelude would make more of a splash, but it honestly hasn’t, and that’s seriously frightening. I’ve put a LOT of effort into this series so far, and intend to make it basically the centerpiece of 2021.
Am I fucking wasting my time? Is no one going to give a shit about A Warm Place?
I have no idea.
At this point, I don’t intend to alter course. A Warm Place still makes the most sense, but I just don’t know. Honestly I’m scared. This kind of thing used to piss me off, now it just scares me.
I’m not really sure what to do. I can’t advertise, I’m too frightened that it’ll set Amazon off again. I can’t make a mailing list, because I refuse to show my physical address on it, which is LEGALLY REQUIRED apparently. Everyone says get a PO Box, but I don’t know, even that makes me anxious. There’s way too many psychos out there.
It used to be word of mouth was what got an author bought, but if that’s still true, I just can’t seem to get people to talk about me enough. Obviously I appreciate the fans that I do have. Every review on Amazon or Goodreads, every like or retweet or response on Twitter, every comment on my website, every saint who donates to my Patreon or Ko-Fi are most definitely extremely appreciated.
I’d like to believe that what I’ve got now is enough, but I know it might not be. I know it could just drop off for no reason. I know the algorithm could just drop me more than it already has. I could wake up tomorrow and Amazon might decide to get rid of me or to just clear out every indie writing anything even remotely sexual. Stuff like that HAS happened before.
I’ve still got ideas and a lot of material to write. Enough to last for years, probably a decade from where I’m standing right now, and I’m glad to keep writing. I’ve got a lot of stories I want to tell.
But it’s just…frightening. And exhausting.
And I’m one of the fucking lucky ones.
So basically, what I’m saying is, if Like A Fine Wine 4 doesn’t come out before the end of the year, or there’s some other delay, this is why. I’m having a really difficult time because my anxiety and depression are fucking with me more than normal.
Right now, I’m maybe 1/4 into Like A Fine Wine 4 and roughly 1/3 into A Warm Place 2. I’m also planning a secret serial project when I find time.
I guess, wish me luck. I wish anyone reading this luck as well.