Wow. So, March.
And then we got April now.
March was a really weird month for me, kind of good, kind of bad. Now, just for the sake of updating on the obvious: as of right now I’m not sick, I’m locked away in my home, which isn’t much of a change from how I normally live, and the people still around me aren’t sick. Hopefully it’ll stay that way.
Just so you know, this is going to be like a long post. I had to work some shit out in my head that’s been hanging out for over a year, sometimes longer. Don’t worry, though, because functionally speaking, nothing life-changing has happened. I’ve just made some decisions regarding some of my work.
In short: I have decided to discontinue or alter a few things, and I want to explain why. But not to keep you in suspense, Demoness and Haven are FINE. They will continue.
Now, as for what happened in March. Some of you may have noticed my blog post about deleting Crystal Candy. As of right now, it’s all gone. I went into some details as to why, but I’d like to expand on it a little, and also explain how deciding to cut Crystal Candy wasn’t the only decision that came out of this whole mess.
So, for the first half of March, I was pretty good. I did some work on Demoness V, then began Haven 5, and managed to hit my writing goals for a solid week during the second week of March. Then, the week after that, something happened. The thing is, I don’t actually know why it happened. There was no event or catalyst. It started with me just falling off of my schedule abruptly. I overslept and I was irritable and it became really difficult to work, to even make myself work. Now, the thing is, that in and of itself isn’t new. That’s happened a ton. Sometimes you just get in a shit mood, sometimes it lingers for a few days, especially if you have mental problems like I do. (Nothing severe, some anxiety and depression. And that isn’t me downplaying it, I try to be unbiased and take a more clinical look at this stuff. I am on medication, and although my anxiety more than my depression does impact my life to a certain degree, I’m functional and have healthy relationships, though I admittedly know that my life would definitely be a lot more impacted if I had a job that forced me to leave the house everyday.)
But then the something happened.
A few days in, I just kinda woke up and I was going about my morning routine, I thought, “Crystal Candy isn’t going to work out.” Now, this isn’t the first time I’ve thought this. Obviously. But before, there was always dissenting opinion in my head, as in I had reason to believe maybe I was just being paranoid or anxious. But this time, there was no dissent. It was kind of like my subconscious had realized that Crystal Candy isn’t going to work out, and simply informed me, instead of my anxiety or depression trying to convince me something I wanted to do would fail. Those are two distinctly different events.
I let it sit for awhile longer, but eventually I had to really examine it, and ultimately I had to admit to myself that yeah, Crystal Candy wasn’t going to work. And there were a few reasons for this, but as I said in the post, l think the biggest reason is time. It’s my most precious resource, there’s only so much of it, and I’m perpetually bad at managing it. I’ve come at this problem a few different ways, and I think I’ve finally determined what the problem is and why a single solution won’t fucking stick: the variables keep changing. I keep changing. What worked in January may suddenly be ineffective in February, and for no clear reason. It’s like I’m a constantly shifting problem that is actively aware of the solution and trying to outpace it, like there’s some part of me that wants to run from any form of responsibility, no matter how necessary, good, or even enjoyable it may be.
Obviously, I can’t give up. And obviously fundamental progress can be made, (and lost, sadly).
So that’s part of it. Another part is that I don’t like lying. Although I think it can have its uses, and that telling the brutal truth ALL the time in EVERY circumstance probably isn’t a good stance to take, in general, I prefer to tell the truth. If only because I’m not great at lying and I’d rather keep it simple. Honestly, it may be smarter if I didn’t communicate certain things with my readers. But you are my readers, and I don’t want you sitting in the dark on some things. Like Crystal Candy. I obviously wanted to continue Refuge, but in the three months since I’d started working on it again, I had written a grand total of one fucking chapter for Refuge 5. Obviously, that is not sustainable. But, instead of just shutting up about it and hoping you’ll forget and then eventually quietly taking it down, I’d rather just tell you up front that I’m taking it down.
In light of that, I believe that my introspective period over Crystal Candy triggered me to finally make some decisions I’ve been kind of waffling on, (and maybe even without actually REALIZING I was waffling on it, sometimes we lie to ourselves as much as everyone else), and I’d like to share with you those decisions and my reasoning behind them.
WOMEN OF THE WILD. The first one, and this one sucks, is that I am going to remove Women of the Wild from the Kindle and basically tuck it away for the foreseeable future. Given how promising an idea it was, why in the fuck am I doing this? A few reasons, but I think the biggest one is another revelation I had: I’ve changed. I wrote Women of the Wild in 2017. About two and a half years ago now. When I started out, I had a very specific protagonist type in mind, I wanted to tell a certain kind of story. And I told it again and again in a variety of forms. I told the story of the underdog, the awkward technician or the scrawny nerd or the quiet introvert. I liked that story. But at some point, and I think it was after I finished up Parasexual, I realized that…I don’t really want to tell that type of story anymore. Although I’m not saying that I’m going to just make a polar opposite switch and start writing about alpha bros and douchebags. Obviously that isn’t going to happen. But I more want to write protagonists like John from Demoness, or even Chris from A Warm Place in some cases. I want to write protagonists that are more take-charge, more able on the battlefield, and just generally do more shit with a bit more confidence. But these characters will still have some of the qualities of my older characters: insecurity, anxiety, being humble, awkward at times, kind, communicative, respectful. I’m not changing my protagonists so much as making a noticeable adjustment, making an augmentation. So again, think John from Demoness as opposed to Ryan from Hellcats. I told that story to my satisfaction, for the most part. Though don’t count those protagonists completely out of the game, they may show up here or there. Now, as for Women of the Wild, what will actually happen? Well, after taking it down, I’m putting it away in the digital chest and I’ll let it sit there for however long it needs to. I do want to come back to it someday, because I still like the basic idea, but I may end up doing a full rewrite, maybe not even in the same universe. I’m not sure. If you were a fan of that book and looking forward to more, I genuinely am sorry. I actually thought that I would find time to continue it, I fully intended to, but I have occasionally asked myself over the past two years, “Should I just take it down for now? There’s no way I’m going to be able to find time for it for years…” When I finally made that decision, I felt…relief. I think that’s a good sign that it was the right decision.
Adventurous. Something similar is happening here. I wrote Adventurous in late 2016 and early 2017. Now, although I actually still really like the premise for the story that was set up and think it would make a solid series, I no longer feel like Steven is the proper protagonist to carry that series. I’m not taking this one down, it will remain up, (and be getting a new cover sometime soon!), but there won’t be a direct sequel. Instead, what I think I’ll do, and again, this will be a ways in the future, is to simply start a new series. Introduce a new protagonist who is approached by Liz to help her with her future operations. I actually really like the idea for this series, because it would crossover several characters from other stories, and be primed for lots of adventures. But again: time. There’s never enough of it, it feels like. So, anyone who was specifically a fan of Steven, sorry. I mean, he will still exist, I’m not ret-conning him out of existence or anything, but he won’t be a protagonist any longer. But Adventurous will live on! Eventually.
Lust & Adventure IV. This one is less about the protagonist, and more about ideas. Although I had an idea or two for Lust & Adventure IV, the more I’ve tried to piece it together, the more it just seemed like a bad idea. Although I still feel a bit uncomfortable about the ending of the trilogy as a whole, I have taken some solace in the fact that that situation will be revisited and, some might even say, resolved, in the Demoness series. Specifically in Demoness V and VI. I don’t really want to try and force another story if it doesn’t need to be told. I’ve spent five years writing, and I’ve tried to develop my ability to tell the difference between when a novel is just being a pain in the ass and to press on anyway (literally all of them fucking do this) and when a novel just isn’t going to work and to stop it (luckily, almost every project that wasn’t going to work, I realized it before I even seriously got started in production). And Lust & Adventure IV, for me at least, just isn’t going to work. So a trilogy it shall remain. So, again, sorry if you were looking forward to this. But just know that Layla, Alan, and Topaz will return, in a serious capacity, in the Demoness series. (If you read the Demoness V preview, you should know this already.)
Those are the big kind of ‘negative’ changes. Sorry. I probably shouldn’t keep apologizing, but honestly, my main goal as a writer is to make happiness. Happiness for you, happiness for me. And I know how fucking bitter it can be when someone decides to cancel something that you really like, even if they have great reasons, and even if you agree with their reasons. It still can really suck. (DBZA anyone?) All I hope is that you understand, and that you take solace in the other things I’m writing.
What about the other changes or upcoming things?
Sometimes, I go through all my files and sort of clean house. Decisions get made, like everything I just said above, and shit gets figured out occasionally. Sometimes new ideas occur. Stuff like that. And I normally clean house whenever I’m feeling down and indecisive and frustrated. So that happened in March.
I don’t know if you’ve picked up on it, but there is an intentional order to the universes. The first one listed is the most important one. It used to just be chronological, with Sci-Fi coming first because that’s what came first. But then as I got more and more into Fantasy, I realized it was my lead universe, so I switched it. Paranormal went to last after I wrapped it up.
But that’s changing. With all the recent decisions I’ve made, I’ve come to realize that my Post-Apocalyptic Universe should be in the Number One slot. I’ve actually had several ideas for cool series over the past few months since I’ve begun investing in Haven. I’ve got a solid idea for the series that comes next, and have for awhile, but I’ve since come up with two more. One of which is very, very different, a bit more…traditional, let’s say? A bit less ‘sandbox base-building survival’ and a bit more ‘first person shooter campaign’. Let’s just say that Haven 5 is going to open up a lot of doors in terms of just how fucked up things can get in this world. I’m actually a little anxious about writing it, (when I get to it), because I know that some people like the fact that I don’t really write ‘let’s save the whole fucking world!’ stories, and this would kind of be like that. But I also don’t want to let fear hold me back, I want to take a shot at it, I want to expand my horizons a bit, try out some new plots and ideas.
So yeah, expect a bit more emphasis on my Post-Apocalyptic Universe.
Now that Haven 5 is written, I’m going to take a break and focus on wrapping up Demoness V and a few other projects. Like I was talking about earlier, I’ve been having trouble maintaining my focus, and although I genuinely thought working on two things at the same time was the smart thing to do, and it actually was working for a little while, now it kind of seems like it won’t. Honestly, it’s pissing me off. I wish I could just make a goddamned fucking plan and just stick to it. Once Demoness V is wrapped up, I’ll take the opportunity to complete one or two smaller side projects. Here’s a comprehensive list of side projects that I want to put out before 2020 is over. (This is subject to change, but I’m feeling decently confident about it right now. Fuck, it’ll be good to have the side projects down and out of the way once and for all!)
DEMONESS COLLECTION #1. This will collect Demoness, Demoness II, Demoness - Fun in the Forest, Demoness III, & Demoness: The Former Princess. It will also feature a brand new, never-before-seen short story taking place between The Former Princess and Demoness IV. This might come next, since the short story is over half written at this point, and I’m hoping to have the cover soonish.
ALIEN HAREM DUAL PACK. People apparently like packs. Like a lot. Seriously, people bought the FUCK out of the Haven Collection. So I figure I should create a pack for Alien Harem 1 & 2, and take the opportunity to write a new bonus short!
QUICKIES #1 PAPERBACK. I figure there’s enough content to warrant a paperback. Even if it’s a short one. On the one hand, I know a lot of people don’t care about the paperbacks. On the other hand, I know that a few people do, and I imagine if you care about paperbacks, there’s a good chance you at least want the option to own EVERYTHING in paperback. So, Quickies will be released as paperbacks, too, going forward.
MISTY VIXEN COLLECTED PAPERBACK. In the same vein, I realized there’s a few things I’ve put out that simply can’t get in paperback. I once created a Collected paperback to solve this, but had to take it down. I’m going to do that again. It will collect MY UNDEAD LOVER, EXPLORATION, & THE FREEBIES. Specifically LARGE & LOVELY, BLIND DATE, SNAKESKIN, THE PALE REDHEAD, & PINK. Nothing new, I don’t want to tie new content to a paperback, and 99% of you won’t care about this, but there it is!
So all that’s left after that are the Quickies. I’ve finally got what appears to be a finalized list of Quickies. Again, this may change, I want to stress that. I may finish a collection and realize it’s too short and need to rearrange what goes where to compensate.
QUICKIES
QUICKIES #2: WANDERLUST | MY UNDEAD LOVER.
QUICKIES #3: PARANORMAL PASSIONS | PARASEXUAL | PINK | ROOMMATES WITH BENEFITS.
QUICKIES #4: ROYAL LUST | LAY OF THE LAND | SNAKESKIN | ADVENTUROUS | LARGE & LOVELY | LUST & ADVENTURE
QUICKIES #5: ALIEN HAREM | DESIRE | AMAZONIAN’S LOVE | BLIND DATE | LIKE A SEX TOY
QUICKIES #6: SEX & SURVIVAL | A NEW WORLD | THE PALE REDHEAD| HAVEN
QUICKIES #7: DEMONESS | FUTURE CONTENT
Obviously, #7 seems pretty vague, but you have to remember that Quickies will be ongoing. The only reason that there’s going to be so many of them in the first place is that I have to cover everything I’ve already written. How it will work once I’m caught up is that I’ll release new ones as new material allows. So once I write enough content to make a whole Quickies, that’s when I’ll release a new one. So when I publish #6 is when I’ll be caught up.
Okay, not much left now.
Let’s talk a bit about Haven! Another decision I had to make: the final number of books. For a long time, I wanted to make Haven a nine book series. But the way the story was falling, I was really worried about Haven 8. Basically, with how the final part of the series plays out, there was definitely enough for two books, but not really enough for three. For awhile, I just put it off as “I’ll figure it out when I get there.” And although I’m only on Haven 5 right now, I’m realizing that it’s just not gonna happen. And I don’t want to pad out an entire novel with meaningless bullshit just for the sake of having three trilogies. So this is what I ultimately decided: There will be eight main entries in the Haven series, and then there will be an Epilogue, just like Parasexual. I actually really am liking the idea of the Epilogue novella. It allows me to revisit all the main characters one more time, see where they ended up and where they may be going, but not have to write an entire novel in the process. It kind of moves at its own pace, you know?
What comes next?
So, something new kind of came at me all at once over the past week or so. Sometimes, how writing works (for me) is that I’ll have things I just want to write about. Usually disparate stuff that I either work into a novel or a short story, sometimes as the main story/theme, sometimes as a side scene. This can vary heavily. Sometimes it’s just a specific character, or even type of character, or sometimes it’s a specific type of sexual encounter, or a specific plot point or type of scene. These come and go. I think it helps add flavor to my varied books. The way I write stories, typically, is that I leave openings for sexual encounters. Like basically, “and in this scene the protagonist fucks (someone new).” Someone new could be an inhuman or a redhead or a mature cougar or a married woman, basically whatever I’m feeling in that moment. It’s kind of a way to allow me to get out thoughts that keep bugging me.
Now, there’s always stuff floating around, coming and going, and sometimes, it’s rare but it does happen occasionally, a handful of things I want to write about abruptly coalesce into a story. That’s what happened with A Warm Place and Refuge. (I know, not the best references given what just happened to Crystal Candy, but this is different.) And it happened again just last week.
One of the biggest factors, I think, that necessitated this cohesion was that, oh my fucking God, writing Haven 5 was a grind near the end. Worse than usual. I don’t really know why, but as I entered the death march that lasted for about a week to try and get it done before April, I fucking KNEW that I couldn’t keep going on like this. I couldn’t just jump into Haven 6. And I needed to do something just really different at some point. It made me realize that I need to break up my writing schedule, and more than I just announced. Like, writing a short story or two between main releases just isn’t going to be enough. My work WILL start to suffer if I keep pushing this hard, I have realized. Which is frustrating, given the fact that I know I really need to keep on publishing Haven titles.
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
Anyway. This series. It’s going to be in my Sci-Fi Universe, but I want to state that it is NOT the Sci-Fi series I have been referencing for the past few months. That’s still coming, but later. I want to do something a little different with this series. It’s going to be a bit simpler, in terms of scope, (no epic, month-spanning, city-building adventure in this one), and the titles will be shorter. As for what it’s about? Imagine the plot of Hellcats, but much more coherent and narrative focused, only the protagonist is an ex-Marine, and the Hellcats are hot mature women, and the location is a remote planet. I’m still piecing it together, so I’ll let you know more when I know more!
But as for the main course? Right now, it’s looking like I have two choices. The first is to press on with my Post-Apocalyptic Universe and dive right into that next series. I feel good about it, at least. Or, put the Post-Apocalyptic Universe on the back burner and instead start up A Warm Place. Right now, I’m not going to say which, because I can’t know for sure how I’ll be feeling when that time comes. However, if I had to guess…I’d say I’ll be firing up A Warm Place. I’m guessing I’ll be burned out on the Post-Apocalyptic Universe by then and want something different. As in, another post-apocalyptic universe! (Yeah, so different!…..)
So that’s My Plan For 2020 (Revised: Sixth Edition)™.
To reiterate, for April, I’m going to finish Demoness V, probably get out Demoness Collection #1, and maybe do Quickies #2. Maybe. Then I’ll dive right into Haven 6. I actually feel pretty good about that one.
Wish me luck!